windmills of my mind.

Quotes

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:43:39 GMT

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.
~Carl Gustav Jung

Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.
~Carl Gustav Jung

Literature was not born the day when a boy crying "wolf, wolf" came running out of the Neanderthal valley with a big gray wolf at his heels; literature was born on the day when a boy came crying "wolf, wolf" and there was no wolf behind him.
~Vladimir Nabokov

I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.
~Virginia Woolf

Perhaps I write for no one. Perhaps for the same person children are writing for when they scrawl their names in the snow.
~Margaret Atwood

Writer's Block: Peek-a-boo, what to do?

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:59:52 GMT

If your friend or partner left his or her email open, would you look? How about a journal? Have you ever peeked at something private?

View 834 Answers

This has actually happened before, and yes, I definitely peeked! :)

I never read someone else's journal though, unless they wanted me to. Almost everyone I know however, has read my journal at some point without permission. If I choose to write something down, then it's meant to be read, and that's how I see it now.

new poems

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:51:03 GMT

little stones

my thoughts are little stones
carving out a name

the silence between the words
is as clear as the water

they ride out on carousels
upon a changing sea

little stones in the sand
my thoughts carve out a name

waiting

these roots are planted deep,
leaves are weathered and weary,
waiting for the earth to rumble.

strangers dwell in their own dimension
becoming lovers with time and place.

I trail down a rip in the universe
with little strings tugging at my eyes.
just down the trail, of memories,
into the neverwas,
where I find it impossible to sleep.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:39:48 GMT

it's a really nice day outside.. clouds, cool breeze, light rain. I'm feeling very inspired too. I painted a blue and purple city this morning, and now I'm trying to figure out what to do with the water.. or maybe I should leave it as is..

things hannah ponders

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 21:34:10 GMT

Why do we move our arms when we walk...

P.S. Remind me to stop taking free tequila shots from a dancing bartender.

this is still a rough draft..

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:58:54 GMT

always in my head
light as a feather and floating
invisible

locked behind a door
with my cheek hugging the cold window

time stands still in here

and dark
and quiet

words

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:19:42 GMT

words like falling fingertips
trickle down the slope of my neck
they move with ease, even a slight
arrogance, gliding and gleaming
across my chest

breaking himself gently
against the edge of my body
he takes out his heart
and burries it by the ocean

trails of moonlight
and footprints
along the shore

he seeps through
and is washed away by sea and blood.

Writer's Block: Lights Out

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 08:53:24 GMT

All it takes is a blackout to realize how much we rely on electricity. What's your most memorable story from a power outage?

View 501 Answers

When I was little I absolutely loved it when the power would go out! It was the only time my mom lit candles. I would play like I lived in the 16th or 17th century, and I'd roam through the house as if it were my castle.

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:31:31 GMT

I've completely abandoned the book I was working on. Starting to wonder if I have it in me anymore.. it's so hard to stay focused on one idea. Maybe I should just stick with poetry and short stories. There's one I'm working on right now that's a fairytale retelling of both Repunzel and Sleeping Beauty. I may post it here, or atleast part of it, whenever I feel like it's done.

We moved into our new house over the weekend and I'm madly in love with it! There's so much more space to run naked! :)

Writer's Block: Place of Residence

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 19:34:51 GMT

Describe your dream house (even if it's not a house).

View 501 Answers

A little castle home with a huge library and art studio. It would overlook a secluded beach somewhere in Ireland or Scotland, though I would prefer it to be not haunted! Maybe have an enclosed spiraling staircase that leads to a hang out room so I can slide all the way down on one of those plastic pool chair thingies. And definitely a Tuscan style kitchen!

Anne Sexton

Tue, 19 May 2009 14:54:26 GMT

Writer's Block: Dream On

Thu, 14 May 2009 20:33:47 GMT

Do you ever have recurring dreams? If so, are they good dreams or nightmares?

View 501 Answers

I have two dreams which reoccur from time to time. In one of them I'm trying to escape a valley filled with hundreds of tornados. The valley is usually filled with broken down, abandoned buildings in which I run through searching for my family. If it ends up taking too long to find them, too many obstacles getting in the way, that's when I'm able to control what's happening. In the other dream, which is really a nightmare, I'm inside a house with a boy ghost living downstairs. The set up of the dream is always different, but the ghost and the way the stairs look never change.

I used to have other recurring dreams that I haven't had in a long time. There was the one of my brother, who seems to be withdrawn into his own mind and completely oblivious to these men in suits trying to track him down. So I would have to drag him into the shadows and to all these secret hiding places, all the while trying to remain unseen by these mystery men. The other recurring one is quite possibly the coolest dream I've ever had, along with this one of two men stalking paris hilton and fighting amongst themselves. Strange, yes, but funny!

Ok, so the coolest dream ever... I was walking down an invisible road at night, which seemed to be in the middle of the sky. There's an abundance of stars above me as well as beneath my feet. It was lightly raining. I could see the raindrops as they collided against the invisible pavement, but I could not hear them or feel them. The rain was silent. Everything was very silent. I was walking through this beautiful silence, and I was lost, but not in a hurry. I knew home was somewhere down this invisible road, but I didn't know where, and I wasn't really worried about it. I was lost, alone, and content.

the letter

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 09:58:43 GMT

While analyzing the works of Jan Vermeer during homework tonight, there was a painting of his I especially liked called The Letter. His work was really refreshing when you've been reading about religious & political propaganda art for hours! I love the symbolism and the simple beauty/meaning behind it..

(copied from my textbook..)
Vermeer ushers viewers into a room of a well-appointed Dutch house. The drawn curtain and open doorway through which they must peer reinforce the viewers' status as outsiders and affirm the scene's unplanned "normal" reality. The woman of the house is in elegant attire, and her lute playing has been interrupted by a maid, who has delivered a letter. The missive is a love letter; Vermeer included objects that would prompt this inference from a 17th-century Dutch audience. The lute was a traditional symbol of the music of love, and the calm seascape on the back wall served as a symbol of love requited. In the book Love Emblems, published in Amsterdam in 1634, the author wrote, "Love may rightly be compared to the sea, considering its changeableness."

As much as I love learning all this neat stuff, I'm ready for my summer time! We get to move into our new place next month too! Me and my friend Beth have started a list of things we have to do this summer:

1. Hang out at Starbucks with our laptops & write
2. Write write write!
3. Take lots of pictures
4. Read lots of books

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:35:56 GMT

We're getting a house
and it has a jacuzzi tub!!

my newest stuff.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:38:05 GMT

pretty jacket and stockings.

hannah kirk

Outfit Deets

jacket:

American Rag, $50-70 at Macy's, black, medium length.

stockings:

$5-10 at Kohl's, light creamy brown/tan color

The story behind the look: .

bird by bird

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 10:57:19 GMT

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is one of the best books I've ever read. It's smart and filled with everything a writer needs to know; from shitty first drafts to intuition to battling the voices in your head. And because of these continuous conversations I have, some with imaginary people, I especially love the following words.

Quieting these voices is at least half the battle I fight daily. But this is better than it used to be. It used to be 87 percent. Left to its own devices, my mind spends much of its time having conversations with people who aren't there. I walk along defending myself to people, or exchanging repartee with them, or rationalizing my behavior, or seducing them with gossip, or pretending I'm on their TV talk show or whatever. I speed or run an aging yellow light or don't come to a full stop, and one nanosecond later am explaining to imaginary cops exactly why I had to do what I did, or insisting that I did not in fact do it.
I happened to mention this to a hypnotist I saw many years ago, and he looked at me very nicely. At first I thought he was feeling around on the floor for the silent alarm button, but then he gave the following exercise, which I still use to this day.
Close your eyes and get quiet for a minute, until the chatter starts up. Then isolate one of the voices and imagine the person speaking as a mouse. Pick it up by the tail and drop it into a mason jar. Then isolate another voice, pick it up by the tail, drop it in the jar. And so on. Drop in any high-maintenace parental units, drop in any contractors, lawyers, colleagues, children, anyone who is whining in your head. Then put the lid on, and watch all these mouse people clawing at the glass, jabbering away, trying to make you feel like shit because you won't do what they want--won't give them more money, won't be more successful, won't see them more often. Then imagine that there is a volume-control button on the bottle. Turn it all the way up for a minute, and listen to the stream of angry, neglected, guilt-mongering voices. Then turn it all the way down and watch the frantic mice lunge at the glass, trying to get to you. Leave it down, and get back to your shitty first draft.
A writer friend of mine suggests opening the jar and shooting them all in the head. But I think he's a little angry, and I'm sure nothing like this would ever occur to you.

bookmania

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 12:20:17 GMT

my very-anxious-to-read list :

Delirium by Laura Restrepo
P.S. Your Cat is Dead by James Kirkwood
Volk's Game by Brent Ghelfi
The Delivery Man by Joe McGinniss Jr.
Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami
American Whiskey Bar by Michael Turner
The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier
Hairstyles of the Damned by Joe Meno
Homework by Margot Livesey
Lux the Poet by Martin Millar
The Tracey Fragments by Maureen Medved
Woman's World by Graham Rawle
The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho
The Dead Fish Museum: Stories by Charles D'Ambrosio
The Book of Illusions by Paul Auster
The Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff
Firmin by Sam Savage
Tell Me What You See by Zoran Drvenkar
A Window Across the River by Brian Morton
Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier
Her Last Death: A Memoir by Susanna Sonnenberg

if you happen to have read any of these, let me know what you thought.

2009 ~

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:51:08 GMT

I had alot of fun this year. besides the whole getting sick part. We ended up driving to palm springs new year's eve, but we didn't leave till 9, so we got there like 20min before midnight. palm springs is where my friend Terri lives, and she had a party at her place.
Almost as soon as I walked in, some guy I don't know runs up to me with a sharpie telling me to sign his shirt.
Rocky kissed me at midnight. then Terri sprayed everyone with a bottle of champagne, and I really wish I had that on video. some guy wearing a white jacket got soaked the most. he looked confused and maybe a little scared.
Maybe an hour after midnight, the party got cleared out. then it was just me, rocky, terri, tony, and this other guy.. I can't remember his name. we all played beer pong, which was my first time to ever play beer pong. me and terri had this idea of using champagne instead of beer... don't ever do this. unless champagne is the only thing you're drinking. let's just say, I got to know terri's bathroom pretty well that night. until 5 in the morning actually.
After we slept through our hangovers the next day, me and rocky went looking for this place called Pinkberry, but rocky kept calling it plumberries... this place was trippin me out and maybe trying to brainwash us. I guess they succeeded because I really want this toothpick holder they had...

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:57:29 GMT

Is it weird that I'm reading three books at the same time?

I asked rocky this and he said yes. lol
I often wonder how many people actually do that... there's just so many books I want to read that I become overly anxious part way through the one I'm reading. so I end up with three or four. It becomes overwhelming though. I usually end up just picking one.

I didn't even notice till now, but the three I'm reading are all fantasy books. Valiant by Holly Black, an urban fantasy; Beauty by Robin McKinley, a retelling of Beauty & the Beast; and Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. Valiant isn't as good as I thought it would be. still an okay book, and I still want to read Tithe, the first in the series.

I'm sitting here drinking coffee by myself. rocky and I fell asleep earlier around 6pm, then I woke up and tried to wake him up by jumping on the bed and bringing him some coffee. neither worked.

stuff I got for christmas:

blue & purple knitted scarf, sparkly purple bracelets from my aunt.
painting of a green chair on a red canvas, euphoria perfume from mom&dad.
starbucks card, yummy cinnamon candle from my bro, brian& his wife.
book of poetry from rocky(five decades: poems by pablo neruda).
hot cocoa gift set from rocky's dad&family.
some gift cards: kohl's, barnes&noble, and best buy.

art quiz..

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:36:07 GMT

Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test...

Extroverted, Progressive, and Intelligent

24 Cubist, -14 Islamic, -5 Ukiyo-e, -16 Impressionist, 11 Abstract and -31 Renaissance!

Cubism was a 20th century avant-garde movement, pioneered by Pablo Picasso and Georges Braque. It revolutionized European art and inspired changes in music and literature. The first branch of cubism, known as Analytic Cubism. It was both radical and influential as a short but highly significant art movement between 1908 and 1911 mainly in France. In its second phase, Synthetic Cubism, (using synthetic materials in the art) the movement spread and remained vital until around 1919.

People that chose Cubist paintings as their favorite art form tend to be very individualized people. They are more extroverted and less afraid of speaking their opinions then other people. They tend to be progressive and are very forward thinking. As the cubist painting is like looking into a shattered mirror where you can see different angles of the images, the people that prefer these paintings like looking at all angles of a problem. These people are intelligent and they are the transformers of our generation. They look beyond what is seen into what things could become. They are ready to leave the ideas of the past behind and look at what the future has to offer.

Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy

Writer's Block: Full Moon Fever

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 16:58:26 GMT

It's the full moon today. Almost every culture has its share of lunar lore, from werewolves to lunacy to true love. Do you believe that the full moon affects our behavior or do you think it's a myth?

View 500 Answers

I believe the moon has an affect on us just as it does on earth and the ocean's tide. I'm sure it's not as strong of an influence, of course, but it definitely has a smaller affect. I believe everything in our universe is connected.

what's beyond the starry sky?

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:18:34 GMT

Journey to the Edge of the Universe.

I can't get over how powerful the universe is. unimaginably powerful. it makes our world feel so strange and fragile to me; at the same time, still solid and comforting. life and our existence makes some kind of sense, but in a very strange way. stars that existed billions of years ago live inside of us today. we carry them, and they posess us like an old ghost. pieces of gold and silver, once a part of their bright and burning bodies, are now the bones of these ancient stars.

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 08:48:08 GMT

So last tuesday was freakin horrifying... I came home from school, threw my keys on the table, started looking around for my kitten, Sajie, and then I went upstairs and noticed the bedroom light was on; I never leave my bedroom light on when I'm not home, so I knew something wasn't right. I creeped slowly into my room and as soon as I came to the closet, this man jumps out at me, shoves me into the bed, and then runs down the stairs and out the front door. I waited a few seconds before I ran outside to see where he went, but he was no where in sight.
It didn't look like he stole anything, but the next day Rocky noticed his wallet was missing, and there were a bunch of charges on his credit cards.

Now I can't walk past that stupid closet without being scared.

Rocky and I have been looking into this house that's behind my moms. This house is awesome. I love the back patio and the kitchen. I guess it's in foreclosure right now though, so we have to wait.

I was with my mom at this place called Red Doors Interiors, just hangin out on this comfy red couch, and I was thinkin how freakin cool it would be to have a house like the Red Doors Interiors building. It was like a big open building with brick walls, hardwood floors, and a high ceiling. And it had those cool lights that went straight across, from wall to wall, and each light pointed in a different direction. The only thing I would have to add is a spiral staircase on each side, in the middle of the room, that goes up to the coolest bedroom ever! It would be an open balcony!

My neighbors have sex alot.... we have thin walls....

So my sister left for Oklahoma this morning. I'm sad. we had some pretty fun times while she was here. She got me addicted to this game, Mystery Case Files - Prime Suspects. I can't stop playing... I stay up till the wee hours of the night.

I finished reading this book, Tweak by Nic Sheff, a few days ago. pretty good book, but I'm really into this book I just started yesterday, Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. I've heard alot about Neil Gaiman's books, and already a couple chapters in, I can see why he's such a well-known and loved writer.

Writer's Block: Reading Aloud

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 02:23:52 GMT

One of the highlights of going to a literary festival is hearing authors read from their own works. What author, living or dead, would you most like to hear read?

View 500 Answers

Anne Sexton, Neil Gaiman, and J.K.Rowling.

Also, I would love to hear Robert Louis Stevenson read Treasure Island.

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:49:52 GMT

"Too many pieces of music end too long after the end...."

Igor Stravinsky